Running Rampid Commentary

"Sincerely, God"

2005-10-21T07:25:00.000-07:00

So I hit the back country roads on my way up to Kristin's and am amazed at how I've suddenly been transported into the "bible belt" in just four short hours of driving north. The radio stationed have been swashed out all at once and replaced with preachers, gospel singers, choirs, and religious rapping. Yes, I said religious rapping. Yes, I was flipping through the stations and found something that sounded remotely like rap. I was like Hmm. ok. But then I listened to the lyrics. "Jesus is mah lord, jesus is mah may-un. He gives me fulfilment like no other person can." Rapping, Ja Rule style. I became perterbed that I had been nearly tricked and clicked off the radio immediately. I would rather sit in silence. I got a little lost while trying to find the road into Saint Anne, population 879, and I am glad I did. I found this sign.

It made me think.......about how damned we all apparrently are. We are all damned and going to hell if now, highly religious people will attack the marketing of a SHOE... Yes, they religiously bombed the marketing of a SHOE. Not an abortion slogan, not an a Pro-War campaign advertisement. A fucking SHOE slogan. For fucks sakes people, come on? Maybe it's time for the people who made this sign and people like them to take a good hard look at their own lives....and their own priorities.

It's time for a Guessing Game!

2005-10-03T10:49:00.000-07:00

Can -you- guess who took this picture and whose tattoo'd behind this is?.....at the zoo......where other parents and children could possibly see....

A Friend Indeed.

2005-09-21T22:54:00.000-07:00

Laura and I at Denny's on Monday Night

After having an immensely fun time at the movies and chasing stray ducks out of the way of our moving vehicle we headed to Denny's to eat and smoke cigarettes and drink un-natural amounts of coffee. We were laughing and having a grand time, I decided to start taking pictures. We all talked about life, told stories, or more often than not, they listened intently to mine and made me feel good about myself by saying "It never gets old, so we don't mind." Warmed my little ole' heart to know people are actually listening to what I'm saying.

Unlike some previous friends of mine who could give a shit less if I lived or died.

However, Laura and I already have plans for these next two Friday nights so, she does definitely care if I live or die. I know she's on the prowl and doesn't wish to go to Velvet alone. ;) We were pregnant together, we have some sort of innate pregnant bitches vibe. L o L.

After Denny's we headed to Walgreens to find Ben a present. While looking, we also found several Halloween related items that looked as if they would be fun to play with at 3:30am. So, the above is Laura dressed as a witch.

Big lipstick. However, not a halloween item, but definitely a funny thing to play with.

Ashley as Scream and Laura as ....old...homeless guy??

It brought me back to the real feelings of what it's like to have friends, friends that legitimately care about you. Unlike the previous friends who made up lies about you, and her boyfriend tried to mindfuck everyone into thinking I was hellspawn when I was really a fucking angel for somebody who didn't deserve a lick of my attention or my wasted gas money driving out to make sure they were happy or the hours spent in Denny's till 5am to make her feel like she had somebody to talk to.

What a waste of them both. WASTE be they. But here is the point, if you are in such a relationship with a friend, stand your ground and get the hell out of it....for if you don't... you will feel like nothing but an empty shell of a person until they are gone.... Gone. Be glad once you have rid yourself of them. Hate their guts for one day then get over it and move on and realize it is only themselves and the ones who choose to stay close to them that they are screwing over. Not you. At least not anymore. But you know, the previous damage is reparable...but it's always been done to you in one way or another.

Get out while you still can. Get out while you still have your dignity. Find new people, like the above, the ones who give a fuck.

Hand in Hand.. We'll guide each other.

2005-09-09T18:44:00.000-07:00

Rhiannon reached out to hold my hand today and I snatched up the camera supa fast...

I edited this big time and it came out really well...

This picture reminds me just how much it is that she doesn't just need me.....that I need her too..

Mothers sometimes don't understand that not only are their infants and children fully dependant on them... That they, themselves, are fully dependant on their children... Before I was a mom, I cared for myself and a few close friends and immediate family members...everyone else could not be trusted and I had no time for them..

But when Rhiannon was born, she opened my eyes to a new kind of love. The kind of love that you're not worried about. You know when you're dating and you start to fall for somebody? Like, really fall for somebody...? You start giving your love but all the while you're conditioned to be scared or a little worried that that love may be misused or just one day may be up and gone..

When you have a child. You are never worried that they love will go away... Because it can't.

Labor Day: An Excuse for Midwesterners to Barbecue and Drink Beer.

2005-09-08T17:39:00.000-07:00

Me and the kidlets heading in for barbecue. I'm holding my youngest cousin and then his older brother is running and then to the far left is my sister and you see Rhiannon being very jealous that mommy is holding another baby.

Wow and to think, by spring there will be another little baby, except it will be my sibling!!!

I told you guys, it hasn't processed yet.

Why we do what we do.

2005-09-05T12:08:00.000-07:00

A little grainy I know, but I'm new to blogger images, I'm used to just using PhotoBucket Figured I'd give this one a shot.

There will most likely be a second post tonight, as we are going to my grandmothers for dinner.

I had to post this. It reminds that no matter how fucking mad Robert makes me sometimes and how crazy and flipped out Rhiannon makes me... They are my "R's".... I love them.... They make up my family...

They are a part of who I am and my purpose for being here.

Most of us who married very young and had that first baby immediately after marrying start to feel this cabin fever...like time is running out, like you missed out on EVERYTHING.... When in all reality, you haven't missed out on anything that means more than what you have now....

Promiscuity leads to emptyness and STD's...
Years of non-commital dating leaves you always wanting more and never being satisfied with what you have.
Staying married because of your children leads to the display of teaching them to "settle" even if they aren't happy.
Being a barfly to pick up random persons for one night stands turns you into an alcoholic and leaves you with gonorrhea....

Just a thought I had running this afternoon. ;) Ciao.

But it is good enough.

2005-09-03T22:59:00.000-07:00

Rhiannon and I this morning after Mommy's late night dance session. If you look closely you can see the black smudge on my face from the big "X" on my hands.

We love our children. Plain and simple. We just do. It's like this fierce innate love that you would die to keep. Whether they stay with you or not, they are always your children. Rhiannon amazes me everyday, and this little blurb is going to be devoted to her existance and every other mother who wants to make lots of babies and watch them blossom.

When Rhiannon was born, I was eighteen, married, and less than two weeks from graduation. I had begged and pleaded with my OB to make sure this baby was born before May 18th. I was due the 13th. I was graduating that night and could NOT miss this for the world, I couldn't. I needed to walk across that stage. When Rhiannon was delivered via c-section on the 6th. My whole world toppled around. Not upside down. Just "around". Suddenly I was a "Mom".. and this little baby felt so foreign in my arms. She felt like somebody elses baby everytime I sent her to the nursery so I could sleep. When I finally got to take Rhiannon home it felt like all of the sudden, "Oh my god, I can't leave this hospital because I don't know what to do." I was a nervous wreck and all because I thought this little baby was going to sure choke to death on her own slobber or die of SIDS if I didn't watch her sleep or hold her, every SECOND of the day. I learned what love was, when Rhiannon was born. Someday Rhiannon will have siblings but my experience of having my "first baby" will always be a little different than my other children. Not in any more or any less of a loving way...just "different"... Because Rhiannon paved the way.

I work hard to be a good mother and I'm often pretty hard on myself as I think most mothers are when in actuality they are doing their absolute best, just fine, at raising their children.

A lot of people tell me.. "You can't just be a stay at home mom.... What good does that do your household?".... Every great president had a mother....Every teacher who puts knowledge into every child, has a mother.. Every doctor who cures thousands of patients a year, has a mother... It's all in how you look at it. Children thrive off of your attention and it's unfortunate that the person who said this to me is so regimented and detached... Mother's who have to work or choose to work have their reasons but it's NEVER because "being a mom isn't good enough."....

Gas? No Gas?

2005-09-01T15:14:00.000-07:00

Image from St. Louis local BP being changed from $2.79/gallon to $2.99/gallon

The time is now when Bush is tapping into our oil reserves. How much longer do we have before there is nothing left? How much longer until we are stranded? Businesses in the city or far from our homes are forced to shut down and major car manufacturers are struggling to mass produce electric vehicles and evolve our gas stations into "Charging Stations"... How long is it?

In my mind, here is how it will happen. First we will be given "gas ration" tickets, which will isolate us to a minimal amount of gas each month, enough to provide for work... Then it turns into something nasty. The public uprising against the oil distributors and in more severe cases, the president himself.

How much longer till another "Great Depression"?

How much is gas where you are? How much will it take before you will no longer pay for gas?

....and what will you do if and when the worst happens?